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>> THE BALLAD OF JOHN AND LORENA BOBBIT
>> (sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies)
>>
>> Come and listen to my story of a man named John,
>> A poor ex-Marine with a little fraction gone.
>> It seems one night after gettin with his wife,
>> She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife.
>>
>> "Penis, that is,"
>> "Clean cut, missed his nuts"
>>
>> Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
>> And Lorena's in the car takin' "willie" for a ride.
>> She soon got tired of her purple headed friend,
>> And tossed him out the window as she rounded the next bend.
>>
>> "Curve that is"
>> "Pricker shrubs, Wheel hubs"
>>
>> She went to the cops an confessed to the attack,
>> And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
>> They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there,"
>> To John Waynes' "Henry" that was waving in the air.
>>
>> "Found it that is"
>> "By a fence, evidence"
>>
>> Now "Peter" and John coundn't stay apart too long,
>> So a Dick Doc said, "Hey, I can fix your dong!"
>> A needle and some thread is all you"re gonna need,
>> And the whole world waited 'till they heard that Johnny peed.
>>
>> "Whizzed that is,"
>> "Even seam, straight stream"
>>
>> Well, he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court,
>> With a little cockeyed lawyer since his assets came up short.
>> They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
>> And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.
>>
>> "Video that is"
>> "Unexposed, CASE CLOSED"

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